Grumpy Does The Hokey Cokey

He puts his left foot in it, his right foot in it, his whole self in it, shoots himself in the foot, then does the hokey kokey and turns around, leaves it to Jacqui to sort it out.

Okay, the rhythm need a bit of work.

I think I’ll make that Sam’s first task. He’ll need something useful to start off with.

I’d Call It ‘The Audacity of the Pope’

Greg Hands reckons I should write a book. He even suggests a few topics I might consider – such as social breakdown. Sounds far too depressing to me – where’s the optimism? I thought perhaps a comedy about depressed clown with superpowers that she’s unaware of. Sort of a cross between Unbreakable and Hancock. Eventually, she uses her powers to save the one she loves. Or perhaps a Dan Brown style religio-political conspiracy action thriller. It turns out The Pope did it. Or did he?

Writing a book is something all the old Labour has-beens are doing, though. A sign of the old. We in the Conservative Party want to usher in a new beginning. Writing books isn’t for the modern man. Today we write blogs!

Right?

Reshuffle? Moi?

Okay, I’ve just got back from BBC News, where I was giving my opinions on Grumpy’s ‘lets give a knife criminal full access to a victim’s hospital bed’ idea. I’m fairly certain the viewers at home would have come with me. It’s a stupid idea, and I want to be perfectly clear on that.

Having got back to the blogs, I’ve found the place rife with speculation that I’m going to be reshuffling the cabinet later in the week. Naturally, I have no comment to make. Except this: expect the unexpected. And not the unexpected that you’re expected. More unexpected than that.